"I know what makes him cry and I know what makes him cum. So I win."
My co-worker, on her ex. (via
"I fucking hate admitting to someone that I miss them. It makes me feel so small and pathetic, because while I’m awake at 4am thinking about you, you probably haven’t thought of me in months. It makes me feel so stupid and I honestly wish I could forget you. But I can’t."